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. Dear Freind, my name is Field Marshal Bamadilli Fasirante. I am the C & C of the Nigerian armed forces. I have a proposal for you...that is favorable to both of us. I propose we open a Pizza chain company in Nigeria called Podesta Roma Pizza. You invest only $55 million and I will invest the $300 million from the Nigerian government funds. BUT your share in the profits will be 60%, and we only take 50%. ...OK, OK. Then we use the profits from the Podesta Roma Pizza to send some of our best children to the USA on education scholarships...especially children between the age of 3--12 years of age. Do you know that some of the best achieving students at American universities are Nigerian...yes, yes...ok ok. Also the profits from the surplus funds can be used to influence the government, where I am your representative for any mineral business investment ventures in the whole country, and if and when the situation requires a military takeover to make the country clean and successful. Yours faithfully, Field Marshal Bamadilli Fasirante.
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Was the DNC 'Hacked', or Are They Just Idiots? Podesta Gave His Email Password to a 'Nigerian Prince'
If we believe the official narrative, a super elite team of scary Kremlin hackers broke into the DNC's servers. But evidence points to a common phishing scam aimed at clueless octogenarians.
There is a shadowy group of extremely dangerous Kremlin cyber soldiers who somehow managed to crack into the DNC, as well as Podesta's private Gmail account, using sophisticated Russian computer wizardry. We cannot even discuss how they did it, not even in 3,000 word New York Times features, because their methods are so advanced that revealing them would compromise our CIA moles in Moscow.
This is the narrative being fed to terrified, outraged Americans who now believe that they are just a few short days away from a Red Dawn Soviet takeover of their beloved country.
Not quite.
Even according to the "official narrative", these elite "Russian hackers" likely gained access to Podesta's account by using a common phishing scam aimed at computer-illiterate octogenarians as they shop for rare coins and Beanie Babies on Ebay:
A phishing email sent to Hillary Clinton campaign chairman John Podesta may have been so sophisticated that it fooled the campaign's own IT staffers, who at one point advised him it was a legitimate warning to change his password.
The stolen email thread, released by WikiLeaks Friday, also provides the most direct evidence yet that the Russian government was behind the damaging hack into the Clinton campaign, according to a private cybersecurity company.
Hillary Clinton's campaign chairman, John Podesta, reportedly clicked on a phishing email that led to the theft of tens of thousands of emails after an aide mistakenly wrote to him that it was a “legitimate”—rather than “illegitimate”—message.
That error has haunted Clinton campaign aide Charles Delavan ever since, the New York Times reported Tuesday in a lengthy look at the Russian-directed hacks of Democratic organizations and operatives.
This is a very compelling story of Russian cyber crime and election rigging. Sorry, we meant to type "holy shit, the DNC is dumb." Common typo.